Grave Robbers Point II

August 16, 2011


By Jill Sunchic:

Birds were singing, tree’s swaying softly, it was a beautiful day. And there I stood unable to enjoy it over the glare of my impending doom.

So we waited.

Neither one of us willing to budge or flex on our opinions of this matter.

After the customary eternal wait time the cop showed up. Stepping out of his car, the officer looked a bit perplexed. The Sexton hobbled over and spoke to the man in blue, recanting my crime and the harm that it “may” inflict on the populous. Several times throughout the rant I noticed that the officer checked his watch and shifted his weight. It looked as though he found this whole affair as annoying and wasteful as I did. However he had no choice but to do his job.

He came then to listen to my side. I told him everything just as it had happened, and again offered to put the flowers back, volunteered my services for an afternoon, anything to keep this from going further. Looking hopeful at the sound of these options, and the thought of less paperwork, Johnny Law took my offers to the Sexton. . . . and was met with the same stone response that I had hit. I could see he was giving this his all, and I did catch snipets of their conversation…

“She has apologized for her mistake……..”Clearly this was an innocent misunderstanding”….

But I could see that he was having no more luck than I in reasoning with this rigid fellow. Bearing a face that was a mix of frustration and sympathy the officer walked to his car and got out his little back book. (The one with all the tickets in it.) I thought to myself, well, a ticket can’t be that bad, I mean they aren’t arresting me, so I can deal with this, right?

“Alright Mam, I am going to have to give you a ticket…for petty theft.”

Petty Theft?! Are you nuts?!

“I am sorry about this, however I have been informed that this is a real problem in the cemetery.” He explained. “So, if you’ll sign here, thank you, then all I need are a few pictures of the stolen property in your trunk and you are free to go.”

I reluctantly signed and stared at the large mark on my perfect record. Fuming and stunned I watched as my car was photographed for “evidence”, and it’s contents (ten flowers) were triumphantly removed.

“One last thing Mam, if you fail to appear on the date printed on your ticket, a warrant will be issued for your arrest. “

Bloody Brilliant.

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